Being yourself, only better….

by carriegracey

Lessons I’m learning as I go through life. 84 things that I believe make life a little easier and a little more enjoyable…of course I’m 31, so I know nothing. But I like to think I’m learning….

  1. Keep your heart open to everyone, regardless of how many times you’ve been hurt.
  2. Never compare two people; that includes yourself with others.
  3. Never expect others to treat you the way you treat them.
  4. If they do treat you as you do them, they’re more likely to stay in your life forever.
  5. The most important tool in all relationships is respect. You won’t survive without it.
  6. Communication, communication, communication.
  7. Email is the best way to mis-communicate. Re-read your emails before you send, and if necessary get someone else to check it.
  8. If you speak and someone misunderstands you, it’s more likely they’re projecting some fear, or opinion they’ve already made up before you opened your mouth. Clarify, and try again.
  9. Take on new friends with caution, if you become friends when they’re going through a tough time, chances are, they’ll be friends with expectations.
  10. Make sure friendships are balanced, if you stay at someone’s flat a lot, tidy, clean, buy them wine, find places where you can return the favour. It’s important they know you’re grateful.
  11. If someone is grateful and shows appreciation, don’t snub them or tell them not to, it’s a pleasure for them to show you how much they love you.
  12. Never begin the reasons as to why you love someone with they do…..for me and …..for me. You’re in the relationship for selfish reasons.
  13. Don’t get a mortgage with a friend. Just don’t. I’ve seen too many friendships fall apart. If you must buy – make sure it’s 50/50 deposit.
  14. If your friend can’t be happy for you in a new relationship with a mutual friend (so therefore they have no reason to question how ‘good’ they are), they weren’t your friend in the first place.
  15. You must, always apologise. If you can’t say sorry, even for the smallest thing, say goodbye to all your relationships.
  16. Mothers – remember, just because you’re having children before your other friends are, don’t snub them as if they don’t know what life is, without being pregnant.
  17. If you’re bitching behind someone’s back, but you can’t say it to their face, you’re weak. Get a backbone, and confront them, with diplomacy. Because one day you’ll get busted.
  18. Most of the time, if you’re negative about someone, it’s often about you, not them.
  19. Allow your friends to make new ones, and your true friends, will still remember you. True friends won’t replace you.
  20. If you want to know if you’re new man will be reliable and loyal, watch him with his family, if he’s loyal, calls his mum regularly, spends special days with his cousins/nephews/nieces and values them in his affairs, he’ll be the same with you.
  21. Taking drugs every weekend pass the age of 30, makes you a nightmare to be around. Unless you want to become short-tempered, irritable, highly strung, have a lack of awareness and be a narcissist in all your ventures. In which case, blow your money love.
  22. If your have a friend with a total difference in opinion, respect their right to have a totally different opinion. You needn’t take it personally.
  23. Avoid aggression, at all costs, not only is it unbecoming, you look like you’ve lost control with something out of your control and in this society, that’s no longer seen as cool.
  24. Nothing is worth lying over.
  25. Nobody is worth cheating for.
  26. Being dishonest will take you an age to win back trust when it comes to a relationship. For some, it may never come back. Don’t take the gamble.
  27. Never tell someone to calm down. It’s like putting alcohol on a burning fire. You immediately lose the faith of the person that’s shouting/panicking/getting upset and you look like you’ve just demeaned their problems.
  28. Number 27 is especially bad if you yourself freaked out 5 minutes ago over something just as trivial.
  29. If you borrow things from your friends, look after them. Treat the items with as much respect as you treat your friend. If you lose it, or break it. Replace it immediately, they entrusted you in the first place with lending you their stuff.
  30. Don’t be hot and cold with friends. Be consistent. If you’re going ‘off’ someone for no real reason, or if they’re ‘smothering you’. That’s saying more about you over them.
  31. Treasure your family members, you might not know when will be the last day you spend with them.
  32. Impatience with others, is highly unattractive, and infantile, grow up and learn to accept everyone has flaws.
  33. Tidiness is not more important than people. Don’t make them walk on egg-shells by looking at the mess they’re making.
  34. Don’t bully your friends into attending events, parties, outings. Invite them once, and leave them to it. Calling them everyday and buying them tickets to go and then being mad at them if they can’t make it, comes across as desperate and over-zealous.
  35. Don’t keep count. If someone wasn’t there for you when you needed them, maybe they had a good reason for it. Don’t hold it against them. If they’re not there at all, then change the status of the relationship, i.e. you’re not that close.
  36. Don’t ever assume you’re close to someone, unless they reflect the same feelings with you.
  37. If mutual friends fall out, don’t take sides, let them fight their own battles. Remind them they are both loved. If you do take sides, let both of them have their story before you make that decision.
  38. Don’t berate people with long hideous dissertation emails that are condescending and nit-picking. Have face to face talks with people if you have a problem you need sorting.
  39. If you speak down to someone, don’t expect them to treat you with the same respect as before, without an apology.
  40. Explain to your beloved WHY you love them. Don’t just keep repeating those three little words. Be specific.
  41. True love is about listening, when you really don’t want to.
  42. Don’t give unsolicited advice, unless you’re asked for it. NEVER give your opinion, until you’re asked. That applies to twitter too.
  43. Regarding Twitter: Don’t ask people to follow you, it’s unnecessary. If you’re interesting enough for whatever reason, or you talk about the things that stimulate that person, they’ll follow you. It’s no reflection on the person you are.
  44. Everyone on this planet is equal. Which is unfortunate for Charlie Sheen. That point will particularly piss him off.
  45. Always keep an eye out for other people’s business ventures. Be their sales agent whenever is appropriate. You never know what could come of it for that person.
  46. Be good at networking – it provides the seeds to great relationships and amazing adventures.
  47. If you have a pattern in your relationships, go seek a therapist. They are the most valuable people to date, and your life changes once you’ve received therapy.
  48. Pets are good for your health.
  49. Make sure you rely on as little people as possible, but when you’re in need, remember to ask for help, they might have a brand new perspective on something that you are too subjective in.
  50. The key to a happy life is in loving who you truly are. Warts and all.
  51. Life isn’t just about being happy. Life has so much more to offer than just that. In fact, if happiness is all you’re looking for, life is going to be even tougher for you.
  52. How you handle your ups and downs, dictates and projects to your friends who you really are.
  53. Admitting to problems in relationships is a sign of strength, not a sign of weakness.
  54. Never, ever bitch about someone else’s choice of partner. Especially if you’re two-faced to them. If you’re complaining about your friend’s partner but pleasant to their partner’s face, you’re no friend at all and should your friend find out your sentiments, they’re right to ask you to leave their life.
  55. Never use God as your reason to cheat/dump/murder/abuse/judge/condemn/hate/dismiss others. It’s embarrassing for the rest of us.
  56. To judge someone else’s grief, when you’ve never been through it yourself, is downright niaive. Read a book, find a hobby and quit commenting on how someone else is coping with one of the most painful experiences of their existance. When it comes to your turn with grief, you’ll have one less friend to comfort you.
  57. Number 56 also applies to someone going through divorce.
  58. If you have a relative with an addiction problem, go to al-anon immediately.
  59. You can never give enough compliments to everyone in your life.
  60. Accept compliments graciously and don’t shun them, sometimes it’s hard for someone to do.
  61. Avoid cliquey sets of friends. Embrace people who keep their arms wide open to those who are new.
  62. Make sure you get your own space, at least once a week. It’s important for your brain.
  63. Listen carefully to your parents and their stories. You’ll treasure the stories when they’re gone.
  64. Never assume your children know how much you love them.
  65. Never assume your partner knows how much you love them.
  66. Don’t expect people to be friends with you if you have nothing in common, if you’re chasing someone and they’re not as in touch with you, maybe you’re not right for each other.
  67. Keep a box of note cards and sentimental gifts, ready to give to anyone who might need to know you care.
  68. Dancing – with friends or alone, is the ultimate mood changer. You can’t be grumpy dancing to the birdy song.
  69. Whatever you do, however you project yourself to others, do it with sincerity.
  70. Avoid gossip, it’s poisonous to the soul and the atmosphere in which you work.
  71. Remind yourself that every day is another day in which to grow, improve, mend something or someone.
  72. In a relationship with a friend or lover – if you’re not growing as a person, you’re dying.
  73. Think of a creative way, every day to tell your friends and lover how much your world revolves with them in it.
  74. Encourage people with positive, don’t discourage with the negative.
  75. I’ve never regretted my own actions when, in conflict with someone who hurt me, I was completely silent.
  76. In other words, kill people with kindness, they hate it when you do that.
  77. If other woman/men are trying to crack onto you or your partner, make it clear you guys are a team. They’ll not hang around for long.
  78. Act with grace in all things.
  79. Never shout out because you weren’t acknowledged for an idea at work. If it’s that good, other people will shout for you on your behalf.
  80. The ego is the lower half of the self. Avoid with all caution.
  81. Be cheerful in all adventures and fear nothing than the negativity of your own mind.
  82. You need more than love in relationships. It also requires, forgiveness, forgetting and fight.
  83. Never burst someone’s bubble, no matter how grounding you think you are. Let them have their moment of joy, life will bring them down to earth, they don’t need your help aswell.
  84. These 84 points are my opinion in how i should live MY life, this doesn’t mean they’ll work for you.
  85. Live by ‘The Desiderata’ and you’ll not need to read the above.